7 Ways to Get Over a Firing/Breakup

So I’m going to be very transparent today. For the past 4 months, I have been going through the after effects of a breakup. I think after a breakup, the biggest question that you’re constantly asking yourself is, what I did wrong or what’s wrong with me. Of course I did the same but ultimately you just have to accept what has happened and do your best to move on and be happy. That’s what I decided to do. I also wanted to just take some time to get back to me. The last three years saw me in a long term relationship, a pregnancy, motherhood, and now single mommy hood. Needless to say, I changed a lot during that time. So I’ve been spending my time trying to figure out who this newly single Daneisha is. What makes her happy? What does she want? What are her next steps in life? I just want to take care of myself and make sure that I am feeding my mind, body, and soul positivity. I’ve been doing that by having a lot of me time (or as much as I can being that I have a very needy 1 1/2 year old who needs all of my attention) and doing things that are replenishing to my soul. It’s been very helpful so I decided to share it with you. These activities can be used to help you no matter what you have been going through. I mean just think about it. Have you ever been fired or turned down from a job that you really felt like you deserved? It can be quite devastating and you may start to doubt yourself and your abilities. Well my advice is, don’t wallow in depression. Don’t beat yourself up. Move on and spend some time trying to better yourself and prepare for the next opportunity that may come your way. When that new opportunity (be it a job or a new boo) comes, you will be prepared for it and you will be the best person for it. Below I have listed some things that I have been doing to better myself and prepare myself for the next “opportunity”.

1. Try a new do.

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If you go back through my blog posts, you can probably guess around the time my breakup took place.  See here.  Breakups/firings can really make you feel like you have no control of your life.  I think that’s one of the main reasons that I cut my hair.  I needed to feel like I was in control again. Plus I just wanted something different, new, and exciting.  When I got to the salon, my hairdresser was shocked to find out that not only did I want a new do, but I wanted a “shortcut”.  She was happy to oblige!  When she turned me around to face the mirror after the cut, I was so happy!  I immediately felt like the real me had awoken.  It was an amazing feeling.  There was this confidence that I hadn’t felt in a long time.  I felt beautiful and free.  It was so elating!  I think that when you are in a relationship where you don’t feel appreciated or you’re working at a job where you don’t appreciated, it can really break your spirit.  So when jobs/relationships end, it’s important to do things that will put that smile back on your face.  A haircut is symbolic. It represents cutting off the old you and embracing the new you. That’s what it meant for my anyway.  I haven’t slowed down since.

2. Pamper Yourself.
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Before my breakup, my life was all about my relationship.  I think this applies to some people in relation to their careers as well.  We spend so much time focusing on other people and things around us that we forget about ourselves.  No matter what is going on in life, you have to take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, etc.  So when I say “pamper” yourself, I mean pamper your physical, mental, and spiritual self.  One way that I pamper myself is by taking nice hot baths and just relaxing in the tub for a few minutes.  I light my candles, pour some lavender-scented bath salts in the water, turn on some old school R&B, and sip a little wine for a few minutes.

This is actually more than physical pampering; It soothes you mentally as well. I’m a music lover. Music literally heals my soul; so it really is important that I use it as a form of therapy. Choose some of your favorite music to listen to while relaxing. It works wonders!

Pampering yourself is also about taking care of yourself.  That means working out and eating healthy.  All of these things are important because they help to get your mind right so that you will be prepared for the great things that are coming.

3. Meditate.

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One way that I am working on my spiritual self is by taking about 10 or 15 minutes every morning to sit down and meditate.  Meditation really calms my soul and it allows me to take a few minutes a day to just have a moment of silence.  Whenever I finish meditating, I always feel more positive, less stressed, and at peace.  Mantra and Meditation by Pandit Usharbudh Arya is a great book for those who want to practice meditation.

4. Talk to someone, write it down, just get it out! 
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This has been the hardest one for me because I’m not really one to talk about my feelings to others.  However, I believe it’s important to get all of your thoughts out. It allows you to release all of those emotions and begin the process of healing and moving on to something better.  There are plenty of options when it comes to people that you can talk to.  You can talk to a family member or friend (this is free).  But if you’re more private and you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know, I would suggest finding a good therapist.  Therapists are usually more professional and unbiased.  And because you’re paying them, they have to listen to you and give you an honest opinion.  My last suggestion for those who just don’t feel like talking to anyone is to keep a journal to record your thoughts.  The most important thing is getting it all out.

5. Take the time to reflect.

 
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After every break up that I’ve gone through, I always ask myself what part I had in causing the breakup.  This helps me to acknowledge my faults, resolve to fix those flaws, and become a better person.  This process of reflection allows me to ensure that I don’t make the same mistakes again.  These same steps work after being fired from a job.  Instead of dwelling on the fact that you were just fired, spend some time reflecting on how you can become better so that when that next job comes along, you will be perfect for it.  Some questions to ask yourself are: Why wasn’t I right for the job? Or why wasn’t the job wasn’t right for me?  What role did I play in ending this relationship?  What can I do differently in the next one?  How can I fulfill my own desires and potential?

6. Read a few inspirational books.

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After losing a job or losing a significant other, we all need a little inspiration to keep us going; I think so anyway. So when I’m down, I look for a little inspiration in everything that I do. But, ultimately, I love a good inspirational book. Now, I’m all for using the “Good Book” and some great quotes as a means to inspire. But I also like reading great stories from others who have been through some of the same things that I’ve been through and have come out successful. So the last four books that I have read and have thoroughly enjoyed are listed below. These books are currently giving me life!
Here are some books that I’m planning to read as well:
1. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
2. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
3. Successful Women Think Differently by Valerie Burton (I actually started this one but didn’t finish)
4. Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs
5. The Seven Spirtual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
Now if you don’t have time to physically read these books, I’ve discovered this great site called Audible. With Audible, you can listen to the book instead of reading it. This has been great for me because most of my free time is spent working on my blog and being a mother. So when I’m riding around in my car, I turn on my book and I get to reading/listening!
7. Set some goals and complete them.
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If you haven’t already, SET SOME GOALS! Goals are so important because they give you something to look forward to and they help with self-growth.  I feel that as long as I have goals that I’m working towards, I’m never stagnant in life.  They help me to become a better me.  The time spent in relationships and at different companies can cause you to forget about the things that you wanted before you got into that situation.  It’s extremely important that you reassess what you want out of life and make some plans to achieve those new goals.  The Mastery Journal is one of my favorite planners that has helped me assess my goals and hold myself accountable for achieving them.

Remember that taking care of yourself is the most important out of all of these tips.  The goal is to be a better you so that you can be prepared for great things that will be happening in your future.  Take the time to love yourself and build yourself up.  If you don’t, no one else will.  What are some of your tips for getting past negative situations in life?  Let me know in the comments section below!
Speak to you soon!
Daneisha

The Bow-Accent Halter Poplin Blouse

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TopNew York & Company  PantsNew York & Company  HeelsTarget  BagMK

Hello Chicas!  This top is one of those pieces that had me doing the catwalk around the house as soon as I put it on.  I felt sexy and girly immediately!  It features this super cute bow accent that instantly added a bit of elegance to an otherwise simple top.  I’m wearing this top with my fitted dress pants but I could also see myself throwing it on with a pair of jeans and some cute heels.  I’m so into pieces that can be worn various ways.  I can’t wait to restyle this one.  What do you think of this one?!?!

Oh and I decided to let you see me with my new glasses on today!  Aren’t they adorable!  I hope you have a wonderful day!  And remember to do something great today!

Speak to you soon!

Daneisha

 

The Off-The-Shoulder Tie Neck Blouse

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TopNew York & Company  SkirtNew York & Company  HeelsTarget  BagMK

I bought this blouse a few months ago and hung it up in the back of my closet (I do that sometimes).  I had totally forgotten about it until I was in the process of moving a couple months ago.  I was happy that I rediscovered it.  The thing that I like about this top is that it can be dressed down with jeans as it was on the New York & Company website; or it can be dressed up as I am wearing it here.  It’s a breezy, flowy top that gives me that extra feminine feel.  It’s just an easy, sexy piece.  What do you think of this top?  Let me know in the comments section below!

Speak to you soon.

Daneisha

 

 

The Floral-Embroidered Sheath Dress

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DressNew York & Company  HeelsTarget  BagMichael Kors

This dress was another “love at first sight” purchase!  I was so excited when it went on sale!  It’s so gorgeous isn’t it?!?! The details are so ornate and intricate.  And the floral colors are very vibrant; they literally bounce off the dress. And it fits me perfectly! As I’ve mentioned before, New York & Company has perfected the sheath dress and this dress is the exact example of that statement.  It’s great quality and it’s super comfortable! Love it! What do you think of this dress? Are you feeling then embroidery trend?

Speak to you soon!

Daneisha

Make a Statement with Stripes

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Top (In Store Only) SimilarNY & Company  PantsNY & Company  HeelsTarget

Happy Monday Lovelies!  I hope you’re having a wonderful day off.  As promised, this week I’m featuring some of my favorite pieces from New York & Company.  I’m starting off with a pretty casual look that would be great for a day like today when most of us are headed to family cookouts and barbecues.  It would also be perfect to wear to work.  This look features the very popular off-the-shoulder top and these very sleek and chic pull-on pants.  To be honest, this was a very easy outfit to put together.  That’s the thing about New York & Company; most of their pieces are perfect for mixing and matching.  What do you think about this look?!?!  Let me know in the comments below.

Speak to you soon!

Daneisha

The Workwear Brand You Should Try

When I find something I like, I usually stick with it.  This could be why I am still shopping at New York & Company almost 15 years after I bought my first pair of jeans from there. Only now, I buy more than jeans. I can basically go there and get some pieces for work, for the weekend, and for those days that I’m lounging around on my couch.  They have a mixture of great pieces that are trendy and classic. I have found great dresses, tops, and pants, as well as beautiful accessories including jewelry and handbags. The options there are endless.  Below I have featured some past looks including some of my favorite New York & Company pieces.  I’m also sharing 5 reasons that I love this store!

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1. New York & Company’s pencil skirts are ultra-flattering. And they’re always figuring out new ways to incorporate them into the professional wardrobe. This skirt is still one of my faves. The faux leather material gives me that edgy look yet it’s still very sleek.

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2. Their tops are always trendy but perfect for those of us who want to be fashionable yet professional.  The colors, patterns, and fabric of New York & Company’s tops never fail to amaze me.

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3. I’m a tall girl so most of the time I like to buy pants with a long inseam.  Some stores don’t carry a “Tall” pant but New York & Company does.  This is just another reason why I purchase most of my dress pants and jeans from there.  P.S. They also carry “Petite”.  And if you can’t find the length that you want in the store, go on their website.

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4. Looking for a nice holiday outfit? Look no further than New York & Company.  This dress was featured in my “Last Minute Holiday Office Parties Outfit Ideas” post a few months ago.  I received so many compliments on this dress.  Definitely worth the purchase.

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5. The “Sheath” Dress!  In my opinion, New York & Company has perfected the fit of the sheath dress.  I haven’t found many that fit as great as the one’s from New York & Company.  The length is on point and it hugs your body in just the right places.

Another reason that I love New York & Company is because they have the best sales! Head over to their site and you’ll see what I’m talking about!

Also, stay tuned this week as I will feature some of my favorite New York & Company pieces in my closet right now.

Speak to you soon!

Daneisha

Casual Friday: 5 Tips for Perfect Airport Style

Happy Friday Lovelies! Last week I went on a business trip to Orlando, FL.  While preparing for my trip, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I was going to wear to the airport.  I wanted to be stylish but still comfortable.  It took me awhile to decide that I would just wear all black and add a few accessories to make the look stand out.  

I then figured that if I was having such trouble with trying to achieve perfect airport style, my followers have probably experienced the same thing.  So I decided to make that a little easier for you by providing some of my tips for achieving great airport style.  Let me know what you think of these in the comments below.

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1. Stylish, Yet Comfy Shoes.  Initially, I threw on a pair of black pumps to finish off my all black look. I was feeling myself and my entire outfit but I knew the pumps wouldn’t last.  And after getting lost in the airport before finally finding the baggage check location, I kicked the pumps off and threw on my black flats.  So my advice would be to opt for a cute pair of flats like these here or even a pair of sneakers such as Converse or Nikes.

2. Dress in Layers.  The airport is cold and so is the airplane (unless you’re flying with one of those low budget airlines).  I brought my black blazer with me which was great because I could easily remove it if I got uncomfortable.  Try this blazer here.

3. When in doubt, wear black.  The thing about flying is that while you’re in the airport, you may do a lot of walking around and once you get on the airplane, you’re stuck there for hours at a time.  So, you want to be as comfortable as possible.  This is why I suggest all black.  It allows for comfort as well as style.  Black streamline’s your look; therefore, giving you a clean, put together outfit.  These black jeans would be a great addition to your all black look.

4. Skip a carry on. Go for a stylish bag. I didn’t feel like lugging a carry-on around the airport the whole time; So, I decided to just carry my tote.  It’s large so I was able to fit all of my essentials in there.  And the flight attendant warned me that if I fell asleep, my tote would probably come up missing lol!  She was just kidding but that just affirmed how cute it was :-).  The one that I own is an old buy from Aldo; However, I love this one!

5. To finish your look, Add sunglasses. A cute bag, cute shoes, and a pair of fly sunglasses go a long way; especially when added to an all black ensemble.  Sunglasses can transform even the most casual of looks into the realm of chicness.  Also, they hide those puffy eyes if you haven’t really awoken yet.  Here are a pair of my faves!

Well that’s it!  The thing about airport style is that it only takes one piece to take it to another level.  So whether you’re wearing a fly pair of sunglasses or an eye-catching bag, there is no doubt that you can achieve impeccable airport style when you go for simple, yet chic.  What are some of your tips for achieving perfect airport style?

Speak to you soon!

Daneisha